asian eggplants for summer hire

summer is most definitely not my favourite seasons of the year -- it's hot, it's humid, and there's half-dressed people almost everywhere.

fortunately, summer lasts only 2 months here, so the wardrobe indecency only seemingly lasts as long. this also means the eggplant season is relatively short, but long enough to produce abundant crops ready early or mid-august*.

as with most chinese foods, there are a gazillamillion overly ornamental names for eggplants (茄 ("keh"), 茄子 ("keh-tsi"), and 矮瓜 ("ngai-kua", or "short melons"), as us new world ch-nks — i shouldn't probably use that word even though I'M ALLOWED TO — call them) and eggplant dishes.

this one i'm calling fragrant third chinese lady president hand-handled sesame eggplant beauty cold dish. i don't even know if chinese people make this but i don't really care cause it tastes good.

sesame eggplant salad
not sure how many people this serves
1 large eggplant (~1.25lb/560g), or 2-3 chinese eggplants
1.5 Tbs (~25 ml) sesame seeds
1.5 Tb (~25 ml) sesame oil
1 tsp (5 ml) garlic, minced
1 tsp (5 ml) ginger, finely chopped
1 Tb (15 ml) light soy sauce
1 Tb (15 ml) vinegar (preferably black, but any will do)
1/4 to 1/2 tsp (1.5 to 2.5 ml) salt
1/2 tsp (2.5 ml) sugar
2 stalks green onions or chives, finely chopped

1. using a fork, pierce eggplant all over. bake or roast it in a 400F oven until soft (~1 regular eggplant, ~45 min for smaller eggplants). let it cool until easy to handle.
2. remove skin from eggplant and discard.
3. shred the eggplant flesh and season with salt. at this point, you can cover the eggplant and chill it for up to 2 days until ready to use.
4. in a frying pan, toast the sesame seeds over low heat until fragrant and golden. add the garlic and ginger and stir until warm (don't cook it, just warm it). remove from heat and let it cool.
5. in a small bowl, combine soy sauce, vinegar, and sugar. add sesame/ginger/garlic mixture. 
6. combine sesame dressing into the shredded eggplant. 
7. serve cold-ish, topped with green onions, as a goopy salad or a topping for bread or crackers!

*eggplants take at least 65 days to mature and need a lot of sun, which doesn't bode well for eggplants grown in basements.

can you say quinoa?

i sure can! and how!^*


[quinoa salad with pears, feta and peppers and other stuff (based on the foodland ontario recipe). sweet and tangy, like a disco party in your mouth]

this versatile grain/seed is nutritious, deliciously nutty and an all-round good guy, like the a gay best friend... great sweet or savoury, hot or cold! no wonder the incas were such an innovative and advanced society for their time! smart food for smart people! (though eating smart food won't necessarily make dumbasses any smarter).

here's a cooking tip: use a rice cooker to cook the quinoa, at a 2:1 water to quinoa ratio.

^*that's "keen'-wah" btw.

what's orange, green, and yellow and covered in mayo?

the answer is russian salad, or salade olivier...

sounds like a mangled mess of things that aren't meant to go together, but it all comes together in this fantastic rich salad, great for bleh weather (like now). it's much like a regular potato salad but richer, meatier, and not as potato-y.

[this one has no apples... not intentional, but i know how my russian friend Елена would riddle me with guilt for this sacrilege. sorry.]

often made with ham, gherkins, potatoes, boiled eggs, peas, and carrots in a mayonnaise dressing, some varieties use fish, chicken, tongue, seafood or other meats, and sometimes include olives, capers, and/or other horrid fancy stuff.

here's a recipe from my Елена's mom:

2 lbs (~1 kg) potatoes (around 3 or 4 medium-sized, boiled until soft, but not crumbling; cooled, peeled and cubed)
2 or 3 hard-boiled eggs (chopped)
1/2 lb (200 g) carrots (cooked, cubed, and drained)
1/2 lb (200 g) green peas (fresh or frozen, but cooked – not overcooked)
1 small onion (cubed)
1 granny smith apple¹ (cubed, make sure it doesn't turn brown by coating the cubes in a bit of lemon juice)
3-4 pickles (kosher-style, cubed; you can probably use sweet gherkins or ogorkis as well).
1/2 to 2/3 lb (200g to 300g) boiled/cooked meat (usually chicken or ham, cubed).
1 cup (250 ml) mayonnaise²
salt and pepper to taste

mix all this stuff up and then serve. fancy it up on a bed of lettuce.

¹you can experiment with other apples but apparently in old russia, they might whip you for this.
²avoid using salad dressing-type mayonnaise – it does NOT taste the same. and my friend's grandmother will turn over in her grave... you do not want this.