Tourtière abberation by Chow

Whatever I'm going to write now about tourtière will probably receive some eyebrow-raising and some harsh poo-pooing from any bonne dame de région* but maybe not...!

This is a tale of the birth of a French-Canadian meat pie that was born out of wedlock and raised with love; this is the Chow tourtière made from pork, potatoes and chicken hearts.


[Diminutive version of the meat pie designed for loggers.]

Chicken hearts, though they might be the ugly duckling of the meat world, are (as Subordinate Chow put it) "the most tasty meat in the world until someone told you it was chicken hearts."

Traditionally served as a sleep-inducing meal (réveillon) on Xmas and New Year's eves, it is a perfect sedative for holiday church masses (if the actual mass doesn't put you to sleep first). Les québécois were pretty resourceful folk back in the day, and used whatever meats were local and available to them to make tourtière. (Perhaps I might not be off the beaten track after all.)

This aberration tourtière involves stuffing a double pie crust with a mix of ground chicken hearts and ground pork, with diced potatoes, onions, salt and pepper, herbs (thyme, bay leaf, oregano) baked in a deep dish pie plate (or double the recipe and bake in a cast iron Dutch oven for that extra authenticity no one really cares about unless it means more food).

[Keep the meat and meat grinder cold and your work will be cut out for you.]

The fact that there are not only one but two types of tasty animals in this dish means it's twice as tasty; my math is good.

(Take heed, vegetarians and vegematarians: skip the dead animals and use ground hazelnuts, seitan, ground chickpeas, lentils, TVP (textured vegetable protein), chopped mushrooms, and/or caramelized onions, or combination of all of them.)

May 2012 bring you new tidings of glee in the form of good food and drink! Now for the REAL new year celebrations...

* old bat from Quebec boonies.

Fresh harvest: blueberries

What's better than locally grown wild Quebec blueberries?

[I wish I had picked these myself]

Locally grown wild Quebec blueberries cozily taking refuge under a blanket of whipped cream.*

[I did, however, eat these ones myself]

Small, portable, and handsome, Vaccinium cyannococcus (bleuets if you're a local) are best when plucked from their bushy low-lying branches by maiden handservants in petticoats and fontanges.

Make no mistake – there are cultivated blueberries in this belle province as well, and it's important not to confuse them with the wild ones which are indubitably sweeter, more flavourful and tinier in person, like your favourite celebrity.

Luckily for us, the spring weather was sh!tty this year and all crops in our part of Canada were late, which means blueberries, normally abundant early August are still around now, mid-September.

Check out some regional quebecois recipes for our blue, blue friends.

*Though the BEST blueberries in the world are those from Saguenay-Lac-St-Jean. I will fight anyone who dares disagree.

Poutine central: MA-a-am-M Bolduc

When you have overseas visitors who hear of this Quebec mangled food phenomenon called "poutine" and aren't completely revolted by it enough to try one, you gladly humour them.

In my case, my Dutch visitor, Lin heard through the grapevine that was a magical French-Canadian dish called "poutine" that was the cause of all wars in this world,

So I took her to one of Montreal's best poutine destinations to let her find out for herself: Ma-am-m Bolduc.

[A most memorable plate of poutine: Ma-a-am-m Bolduc's vintage original.]

Lin adhered to the standard French-Canadian instructions for eating poutine: grab a fork and dig in. Ma-am-M Bolduc's fantastic savoury sauce and generous dosage of squeaky cheese complement the homestyle fries to a tee (check out their menu for the full list of poutine varieties).

As the Dutch say in Quebec, Het regnet poutine, meaning, "the world would be a worse off place without deep fryers".

As with all that is deep fried, you need a tasty chaser. My lovely friend chose to wash it all down with locally-made spruce beer.

[Lin about to try spruce beer for the first time. She liked it so much, she inhaled it.]

Contrary to urban myth, spruce beer (bière d'epinette) is a refreshing, non-alcoholic nectar of the gods, that tastes like camping, and increases virility all while helping you with your math homework.

[Doesn't look like much but this bottle of spruce beer will change your life for the better!]

(If you're enterprising, you can make your own spruce beer, or hurt yourself trying.)

Poutine initiation was a success! Lin has passed level 1 of Quebec foodstuffs and is ready to move onto level 2: sugar shacks.

(Lin: BTW, thanks for the picolientjes!)

Ma-am-M Bolduc
4351-4355 de Lorimier
www.maammbolduc.com

Maple syrup makes the world go 'round

The general rule is, when you go sugar shacking, i.e. maple syrup hunting, you need to like maple syrup. You need to like maple syrup because you will drench everything in this sweet Canadian liquid gold*.

[Just looking at the bowl of oreilles de crisse is clogging my arteries.]

Acériculture (I don't think there actually is an English word for it) is bigass industry in Quebec. And this fact, we celebrate by dangerously coming close to inducing adult onset diabetes with the all-you-can-eat formula at our beloved cabanes à sucre.


[A bucket collecting maple sap from a tap. Pretty interesting, especially because it resembles a bucket collecting water but is not!]

Typical sugar shack fare includes maple syrup with a side of baked beans, fluffy omelette, ham, bacon, cretons, sausage, pancakes, followed by homemade doughnuts, and/or maple sugar pie or just plain sugar pie with maple syrup juice.


[Aformentioned homemade doughnuts and maple sugar tartlets.]

(Er, I know my post is much too late in the season for anyone who wants to experience this diabetes-invoking* activity (especially cause it's already la Fête de la St-Jean), but you can make these deep fried pancakes (puffed doughnuts) yourself at home. Recipe below...)


Deep fried pancakes (crêpes frites), AKA beignes soufflées 

2.5 to 3 cups (600 to 750ml) flour
1/2 tsp (2ml) salt
2 to 3 Tbs (30 to 45ml) baking powder
2 Tbs (30ml) sugar
3 Tbs (45ml) butter, melted
2 eggs, beaten
1 to 1.5 cup (250 to 325ml) milk or water (room temperature)
1/4 tsp (1ml) vanilla (optional but delicious)
oil for frying

1. Make room in stomach.
2. In a large bowl, sift together flour, salt and baking powder. 
3. In another bowl, mix together the milk or water, melted butter, and sugar. 
4. Pour the liquid mixture into the flour mixture. Whisk this batter using a whisk until your hands feel like jelly, which should take anywhere between 15 seconds (wimps) to 2 minutes (contenders).
5. Heat oil to about 150C (300F) in a vessel large with sufficient room so that doughnuts can float. 
6. Drop the dough into the oil in large dollops, either with a large spoon or some piping mechanism and fry until they float and are golden. Remove from oil onto a dish lined with absorbent paper towels.
7. Repeat the frying method (step 6.) for the remainder of the batter.
8. Once cooled, coat or sprinkle with icing sugar, or soak in maple syrup.

TIP: For larger yield, make smaller dollops and/or hide them  from gluttonous siblings.

I'm not sure why but most of mine turned out shaped like stomachs -- maybe because they know precisely where they're heading!

Bonne St-Jean!!

*YES I know maple syrup is also manufactured in parts of the US. But to us, it's as Canadian as BIXI, and Kiefer Sutherland.

**If required, wear elastic waistband pants.

poutine central: ashton

one of the best fast food chains in the province of quebec does not have any presence in montreal.

its name: chez ashton.
its specialty: fantastic poutine.

[chez ashton in lower town, québec city]

(for those not in the know, poutine is a popular french-canadian dish consisting of french fries with cheese curds and all doused in delicious gravy.)


[poutine piquante régulière = best $7.95 you'll ever spend.]

ashton uses local potatoes from île-d'orléans for their golden frites, and fresh curd cheese (fromage en grains)... the kicker is the homemade sauce. they also have a few poutine varieties: regular (with or without sausages); spicy; dulton (with ground beef), with or without sausages; and galvaude (with cubed chicken and peas), with or without cheese.

so if i were to rate ashton on their poutine, it would probably break down to something like this:

fries: 4.5
cheese: 5
sauce: 5
presentation: 4.5

total: 19 on 20

next poutine stop: louis, in sherbrooke...

note to mr. ashton: m. ashton -- je vous conseille fortement d'ouvrir une succursale à montréal. on attend toujours après une bonne poutine ici...