- Correct: "My friend Rishi-rish and his better-half, Kirsty-rish had me over for supper." This implies that I was invited to the hosts' home to enjoy supper with them.
- Incorrect: "My friend Rishi-rish and his better-half, Kirsty-rish had me for supper." This implies that the hosts are heartless cannibals.
The next lesson in English Grammar 301: knead: to work and press into a mass (usually of dough). Not to be confused with homonym kneed, as in, "That fat man swiped my burger so I kneed him in the gonads".
- Correct: "To make roti, you knead the dough gently."
- Incorrect: "To make roti, you knead to punch the dough until your knuckles are sore."
Roti, by the way, is another flat Indian bread made of a semolina or whole wheat flour that (contrary to naan) isn't leavened... instead, the magic happens on your stovetop!
[Rishi-rish kneading the crap out of the roti dough! Actually, don't do that cause you'll get tough roti...]
Rishi-rish was kind enough to share his recipe with me, so I will kindly plug his Elephant Stone music project.
Here's how to knead your own!
2 cups (500ml) atta (fine semolina flour, white or whole wheat flour)
3/4 cup (175ml) warm water
1 cup (250ml) extra atta for dusting
Butter or ghee (desi or vegetable)
- A tava or cast iron pan
- An open flame, or if that sounds treacherous to you, a heating element and metal stand over which you can suspend the roti like so:
- Add atta into a large mixing bowl, and add a little bit of warm water at a time.
- Continue to mix and knead dough until it reaches medium/soft consistency -- not quite bread dough, and definitely thicker than pancake batter.
- Cover bowl with a clean dish towel and let it rest for 10 minutes.
- Heat a cast iron skillet (tava) on medium heat.
- Turn another element to high and place a raised metal stand over the element. This is used for finishing the roti.
- Take a golf ball-sized ball of dough and dip it in extra atta.
- Flatten the roti into a thin disk with your hands. Keep the unused dough covered.
- Lightly dust a rolling pin with atta and roll out the roti to 10cm diameter. Add a little atta to prevent it from sticking to the rolling surface.
- Place roti on tava. When the roti's color darkens, flip it over using tongs and cook the other side.
- When air bubbles appear on the roti, grab the roti with tongs or if you're a sadist, with your fingers, flip it over and place on the raised metal stand.
- When roti puffs up, remove from the stand using tongs and place in a plate or basket lined with a clean dish towel. It will unpuff as it cools.
- Rub roti and yourself with butter or ghee.
- Repeat for remaining dough until you've finished the dough.
- Eat liberally with your favourite Indian dishes.
* Er... you might have noticed that I have begun properly casing my entries, starting with this one. I figured if I help enforce the grammar police, then I might as well follow their own stupid rules.