goodness gracious, great bowls of fire!

my camera had a close encounter with flaming sugar loaf this week. i almost lost it to holiday cheer in the form of Feuerzangenbowle, or "fire tongs punch"...

[fire!]

thank goodness it didn't, because then i wouldn't be able to share with you lushes and pyromaniacs this hazardous, yet deliciously comforting german christmastide drink; instead, i'd probably be in hospital with a camera fused to my hands.

to make your own Feuerzangenbowle, you'll need one of each of the following :

- a sugarloaf (zuckerhut)
- dish on which you can douse the zuckerhut with rum so you don't leave a mess
- pot* of mulled wine omitting the sugar (about a 2L box worth)
- bottle of overproof rum (54% or higher**)
- metal grate/tongs thing (die Zange) that sits over the pot
- fire-lighting device (matches, lighter, bbq lighter)
- fire-proof ladle/spoon to douse the zuckerhut
- fire-proof tray to catch dripping sugar or fire under the pot of wine (optional)
- brave soul willing to risk singing his eyebrows (you can hire dr. andy to do this because he no longer has eyebrows, being a seasoned Feuerzangenbowle-maker.)

and then...

1. prepare your unsweetened mulled wine. don't drink it all. cheat using this:

[i don't know where you'd get that here, but it's basically coriander, cloves, nutmeg, but use what you feel like]
2. turn heat down to low. or, optionally remove from heat and set the pot of mulled wine on the tray, and set the metal grate/tongs over the pot.


3. place sugar loaf in dish and pour enough overproof rum over it to soak it through, and then place it on the metal grate/tongs.

[dr. andy in action!]
4. carefully, light the sugar loaf on fire.

[now you know what rum-soaked sugar looks like on fire!]

5. dim lights for effect. make oooh-ing sounds while the flames lick.

6. occasionally, spoon more rum over the sugar loaf as it melts into the pot of mulled wine. be very careful as it will flare. shhhpoosh!

[potentially, the last photo my camera took. potentially...]

IMPORTANT: ensure you have sufficient flaring space (e.g. under a rangehood, or high ceilings) and the lid at hand to smother flames if required.

7. when the sugar loaf is melted, extinguish any remaining flames by smothering it (not with hugs -- with a metal lid).

8. reheat mulled wine if required.

9. ladle into mugs and drink with fervour and holiday cheer.

[dr. andy serving up his concoction]

ta-dah! prost to baby jesus! and thanks to dr. andy for making this and risking what's left of his own eyebrows.

* if you have a Feuerzangenbowle, by all means use it.
** dr. andy says it has to be over 54% or it won't properly light. he's a scientist so listen to him.

'tis the season to get groggy!

it's december: the season for embarrassing office holiday parties and to get your drink on.

speaking of drinks, there's a carboy full of apple juice that's been sitting around fermenting, taking up space and getting old in my house for the last 3 months, like a disenchanted teen at the last birthday party for a senior citizen. it's about time it get its arse in gear and be delicious apfelwein. 

[apfelwein day 1: the yeast has just begun!]

apfelwein is a german version of apple cider that isn't as sweet and definitely more tart, and sometimes served warmed with spices like a toddy. this one will be consumed like an apfelwein should -- straight up like a giraffe sinking in quicksand!



[apfelwein day 4: the yeast, post-juice binging]

the apple wine is now bottled and aging more and should be ready for consumption shortly. i'll let you know when it's been getrunken...

(i would have taken more photos of that stuff aging but murky brown liquid reminiscent of swamp water makes terrible blog material. in fact, nearly 99% of stuff that makes it into blogs in general doesn't need to be on the internets; this is true because the internets told me it was.)

q-tastier noodle!

...cause sometimes you'll buy a package of noodles* that will also double as an ironically funny asian version of a bazooka joe comic (cause the original bazooka joes were, by no means, funny).
[click to enlarge]

[know to cooking a q-tasty noodles!]

these noodle soup is delicious, polystyrene packaging and sometimes is good...like it, it still!

*(how the farts do they know how to use photoshop and not know how to use a dictionary?**)

**(taiwan's estimated population is at about 23 million, and china's is at over 1.3 billion. i find it hard-pressed to believe that there is not one person at the noodle factory who does not know that "Q-tastier" is not a real word.)

squirrel gardening

i'm hiring squirrels next growing season cause look what they grew in my garden this season!

peanuts!!

[peanuts! big and small!] 


[peanut plant!]

unfortunately the growing season isn't long enough in this region but thanks to my bushy-tailed rodent friends, i got about 6 peanuts off one plant i pulled out (there were a number of plants scattered throughout the garden).

(there must be a lot of squirrels in china -- it's the world's largest peanut producer, producing an estimated 14 million metric tonnes in 2008 of these fart-facilitating seeds, almost half of the world's supply. that's a heckuva lot of peanut sauce).

mr. ng's downhome chinese duck

verdun is, for chinese people, apparently fast becoming what parc-ex was for greeks in the 1970s. and it can't be a bad thing for this traditionally blue-collar-y hood. for one, it means close(r)-knit community. for two, it means good home-style food, as is the case for le lotus bleu.

i have a strong suspicion this is one of the only authentic central/northern chinese restaurants in montreal (and pretty tasty, to boot). in fact, it felt like being transported into a restaurant in china, complete with buzzy fluorescent lighting, self-serve water coolers and mismatched decor!*

our goal was to savour this fat noodle lamb soup, of which henk's brother had raved about:

[magic fat noodle lamb soup, the divineness of which we could only imagine until we tasted it!] 

henk and i arrived late and a little hungry, so he started digging into the condiments.

[yes, he did regret it the following day.]

mr. ng** (武先生), the proprietor and chef, however helped settle our hunger quickly with his fantastic boiled leek and pork dumplings to rival those from qing hua.


[leek and pork soup dumplings]


[special szechuan pepper marinated duck necks]

mr. ng beams from ear-to-ear when he tells us that his family's famous daoko chicken is a signature of henan cooking.

[daoko chicken wowko!]

we beam from ear-to-ear when we ate it!

the chicken is basted in honey water, deep fried, and then braised with magic spices and served at room temperature or cooler (something, i think, most westerners are not used to, like cantonese white cut chicken (白切雞)). most meat dishes from the henan region are served slightly chilled, including the fragrant duck necks that henk and i polish off (and which kind of freaked g. out cause she's scared of ducks, especially anatomized ones).

until next time, zài jiàn!

restaurant lotus bleu
4847 rue de verdun
(514)691-3519

*...among other restaurant staples in china which will not be mentioned here. you can message me if you want to know.

**wu in mandarin. so if you're a traitor, you would call him mr. wu.

fat auntie cooks up a storm!

this is fat auntie in her kitchen about to cook up a storm.


actually i think this is her yelling at me to stop taking pictures of her while she's cooking.

fat auntie grew up in the area outside of guangzhou, cn called pun-yue (番禺區) where apparently everyone knows how to concoct magnificent feasts for supper, of which fat auntie is perfect specimen (more on that later).

pun-yue's notable for delicious dishes like deep fried water buffalo milk (keung-tsup tsoong lai), stuffed and fried dace (tseen-yeung leung yu), and a bazillion great pork and seafood dishes.

(she's so short that she sometimes has to use a giant box of pocky as a booster seat).

(photo via flickr, volcanologist)

can't wait to see fat auntie again so she can cook me some tasty meals!  

(also, a note to the jerks giving me flack for "improper" romanization of cantonese words can suck my balzacs. i'm a writer and i know how to romanize better than outdated stuffy bureaucrats.)

try this: ox-tongue (minus the tongue)

sometimes i wonder whether or not it is out of sheer spite that the chinese create ridiculous and cryptic names for dishes and foods to turn them off from eating them.

one of my favourites in that category is the puffy, slightly chewy, slightly sweet and fun-to-eat ovular deep-fried treats called ox-tongue pastries, or 牛脷酥 (in cantonese, gnau-lei so).


[it's the one on the right! one in the back is a sesame ball and one in the foreground, i forget but it wasn't as tasty as the oxtongue.] 

there's no ox nor any ox-tongue in it, perfect for vegetarian/pretendatarian/omnivores alike! its namesake stems from its shape which resembles the tongues of our bovine friend (pretty ugly if you ask me).

often eaten to complement congee or with just fresh soy milk, these and other types of chinese pastries are often found in fast-foody type, street food carts, or dim sum houses (though finding them in the latter is kind of rare, at least in north america, but you might luck out).

i guarantee some smiles once you bite into one (hopefully not fake ones)!